Facebook vs Instagram: our fantasies about it

3 min read
31 October 2018

In the right corner of the ring, there is Facebook wearing a blue robe, beautiful click baiters, and hipsters around him, all holding hands and crying out loud: “This is our little digital world!”

In the left corner, the is Instagram looking so nice in a pink-and-purple robe and having his shoulders massaged by fitness cuties, travel bloggers, and selfie lovers. All of them are having duck faces, bubble butts and are tagged #withoutfilters.

Let the fight of the century begin! Place your bets and be careful with your popcorn. If you get sick from excitement, use your empty popcorn bag.

First round: Facebook is floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. He is the first to attack and immediately strikes hard in the gut with storytelling. Every day people tell millions of different stories here: sad, scary, beautiful and funny. A day is believed to be wasted if you did not write about it.

Oh my God, it is a knockdown at the first minute! Instagram falls down, the referee starts counting down: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!

But Instagram will not give up, he is rising up, ladies and gentlemen! Look at his beautiful tattooed abs, at his muscles moving under the flawless skin, at his delicious breakfast… Wait, breakfast?! No, it’s not an illusion, someone has just brought tens of food pictures to the ring.

He is rising up, holding the ring ropes and laughing in Facebook’s face. Because now he also has storytelling accomplished by terabytes of visual content! There are billions of fresh and unique photos and videos every day. Here is Hugh Jackman walking his dog at the seashore, and here is LP making selfies at the studio, and here is Anthony Hopkins playing the piano. How interesting is to watch someone else’s’’ life! The whole world is in your pocket.

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Today is all play and no work…

A post shared by Anthony Hopkins (@anthonyhopkins) on

Facebook goes back to defense reminding that he was created 6 years earlier. Instagram attacks his body with young and creative people who can monetize their pages almost since babyhood. Facebook fakes a side movement and throws a hard uppercut with the fact that he has about 2 billion users which is some 500 thousand more than Instagram does, ha-ha!

Instagram gives a batch of “limited” strikes: “You have a 5000-friend limit!”. Facebook: “And you have a 2200 character limit!”.

Stories are getting in there, the audience roaring.

It looks like a draw…

But wait, what’s this? Facebook pulls out his trump card and strikes the opponent with the research of British scientists: according to it Instagram is the most harmful for young people’ health compared with other social networks:

  • Causes depression, loneliness, anxiety, or fear to fall from reality.
  • Becomes a reason for irregular sleep and excessive preoccupation with the appearance.
  • There are cases of deaths due to making selfies in high-risk locations.

And there are just the most obvious things.

— And what is your own harm rank according to this research? — Instagram hisses exhausted with the fight.
— I’m ranked third, together with Twitter, — Facebook says frankly, rubbing a fresh bruise under his eye.

And the good old Facebook remains the champion: he is larger, older, safer for the mental health. The audience is shocked, everybody is demanding for a revenge but the referee is relentless. And we will be waiting for 2019 to come and we’ll see who will become the winner.